SOME OF OUR FAVORITES

People love to hate lawyers. It's always been that way. Maybe it's because they feel lawyers have power, or that lawyers know the "secrets" to how things really work. Whatever.

In this office we actually like lawyer jokes, and we like to share them - and we use them to remind ourselves what people don't want in their own lawyers. And, besides, they help us keep from becoming too impressed with ourselves.

Here are some lawyer jokes we think are pretty good:

How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?
She has an uncontrollable craving for baloney.

What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
Senator.

What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
Your Honor.

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.

How does an attorney sleep?
First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.

If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning,
and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
Skeet.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.

How many lawyer jokes are there?
Two. The rest are true.